Our girl has a scream! You know the kind....the blood curling, pop your knuckles, toe clenching SCREAM!!!
Ok she has attached. That is our goal right? We want the baby girl to attach to us. That's what you read about adopting right? How to help with attachment. I've read about it, I've followed the rules, so now comes the time where she won't let you put her down for 2 seconds???? Nobody explained that part! I usually take a couple of showers a day here. Not the relaxing, help you wake up and start your day kind of shower. No we do the 2 minute shower to get the sweat off you from the HEAT. Today baby girl sat in the stroller outside the glass shower door screaming her head off. It was a rough afternoon. She's fine most of the day when we are on the mov6e, but if I want to do laundry, go pee, you know the basic necessity stuff, she's not having any part of that. If I type this and it's all abreviated you know she's on my lap and I'm typing with one finger. Right now she's actually sleeping in her crib and I should be in bed while I can. I'm still hoping travel agent will email tonight saying we can get out tomorrow night. Doesn't look good. But oh well. There are actually still a few places I'd like to go. I have yet to go to a pogada and I want to hit a book store. I bought the cutest little kids books that are in both vietnamese and english and one all vietnamese for only 1.00 each and would like to get a few more. The shopping here is unbelievable! Molly and I went to a non profit shop today and shopped our little hearts out. Beautiful things for very cheap. I have birthday and Christmas gifts bought! I would have loved to have bought a few silk items for myself, like a jacket or blouse or skirt but Paisley is always attached to me sweating in the hotsling so there is no way I can try anything on. Those of you doing this on your own are VERY brave! I've only had to do it for 6 days and it has been very hard. Ryker has been a great help but it's not like an adult and he can barely hold our chubber chubbs! He certainly can't carry her down the street while shopping. I worry about him enough falling on the crappy sidewalks all on his own.
Tonight was our last meal together with the whole group. We really got lucky to have such great people in our group. All of us very different with very different professions and family lives but a great mix of really good people. I like good people! We ate the best restaurant so far, the Green Tangerine. It is french and so cute but the food is to die for! We ALL loved everything we had! We didn't have reservations and with our large group we had to sit out in the courtyard which was very nice besides not having air conditioning. Some are leaving tomorrow to visit the orphanage of one of their son's. Another couple leave tomorrow to go home. We are scheduled Wedesday and the other couple on Thursday. Funny how we all got different times we were supposed to book our return flights! Not suprising though! But everything in country ran so smoothly and our guy here, Quoc did a fantastic job of making sure of that. He is so humble and when I told him that replied, "That's my job!" How nice is that?!
Any advice on the attachment thing please leave comment. I've never heard a baby scream so mad in my life before. So if you want to share that you went through this as well and how long it took, please let me know!
A new home
15 years ago
Posts
2 comments:
She's attaching but not attached :-) Secure attachment leads to independance. Insecure attachment is probably about where she is at right now - she knows you, loves you but doens't trust that it will all fanish in an instant. Plus it's also age-appropriate even for bio-babies her age so it's probably doubly bad!
Independance - even for a few seconds - sometimes doesn't happen fast, even with biobabies, but it will happen! And it will probably happen much quicker if you indulge her needs right now as much as feasible. It is really hard to parent so intensely, REALLY hard. But keep taking it one day (or hour) at a time and it will pay off so big you will never regret it! Soon she'll be crawling (or walking!) off to play on her own and you will wonder what happened to your tiny chubber!!! Hang in there! Doing it alone would be sooooo hard!
For the shower, try to take her in with you. It can get slippery but it's do-able. If she can sit well, you can just set her on the shower floor and let her splash unless she just hates the water.
Definitely use the heck out of that hotsling for things like laundry and even the shower if you don't mind having a wet hotsling. And consider being a Mei Tai when you get back because they distribute the weight better for big chub almost-toddlers :-)
My Em, was adopted at 8 months from China. I used to put her highchair in the bathroom so I could shower. Would wash an armpit, push shower curtain aside, say peeka boo, another arm pit, etc. I would vaccum with her in the baby bjorn, constant attention. Wore me out. She's 11 now and just wonderful! It is very trying esp when they pack on the weight, they get really heavy! I felt like my life was a circus. Still is!
Thanks for sharing your blog>
Charisa
Post a Comment